So many thoughts today! I guess that is what happens when you drive around for an hour because you needed to leave your premises for a real estate agent who couldn't bother to show up or take 30 seconds to call and say she wasn't going to show up. And we are the ones to receive complaints because the Lawrence Board of Realtors doesn't approve of the FSBO signs we have in our yard (because we are also listed on the MLS because we purchased a flat-fee MLS package, and apparently that is "confusing"--maybe so, if you are not up to speed on new methods of FSBO marketing, and you'd think someone in the industry would be.) Very interesting, their politics. They will be hearing from me about this.
While I was driving around, I heard the song "Pride in the Name of Love" by U2, and, as always, got chills during the line "Early morning, April 4. Shot rings out in the Memphis sky. Free at last, they took your life, but they could not take your pride." What a wonderful thought, that MLK was fighting for black rights out of love. I have such a micro view of love--love as it affects me and the individuals I love. But what about love for those that I don't even know, as a humanity? I know I've got it, because empathy is one of my greatest attributes. I can't stand to hear of suffering--human, animal, or otherwise, or general hurt/malaise. I wish I could help everyone. Delivering MOW once a month and rescuing the occasional shelter dog is all I do. I vow to do more.
Speaking of love: Danny and I watched a show on the anatomy of love on Discovery channel last night, and I had a nice reverie wondering and affirming what aspects of biology drove me to choose him for my mate. According to the show, evolution cause women to prefer partners with strong upper bodies and a certain size/shape of genitalia because of the size/shape of our own evolved reproductive organs (stay with me here--its just biology, I promise.) And likewise, our partners choose us because of our innate need/desire to replicate our DNA, so they choose women who appear to be fertile. Large breasts, wide hips, enough fat to get through lean times...what occurred to me rather profoundly was the implications of all this for my ex, who had no desire to procreate. Let me very diplomatically say that biology and evolution support this conclusion as far as he is concerned. :-) And the fact that Danny and I got pregnant so very easily support the evolutionary conclusions that brought us together in the first place.
On the topic of motherhood: I wish I remembered more of my own mother. She's been gone for 22 years. As I hold Elise while she's nursing or sleeping, I think to myself, cherish this time, because she won't always want to be so close to me. I wish I remember being that close to my mother, because I know I was (she nursed me as well.) But, I don't remember, and neither will Elise. But, on this side of the coin, I will always remember.
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